great.... just got back from the london trip and i got a cold.... just how did that happen??? besides getting caught under that rain alot... usually im quite sturdy... wonder when did i became so weak. anyways, yes, sick, feeling fatigue, weak, nausea-tic, worst of all... CAN'T SMELL !!! noooooooo!!! which means i would be eating nice food that turns out tasteless cause i can't smell!! OH THE HUMANITY!!!
feel really like crap. head pounding (but i didn't take any alcohol...), can walk but probably gonna walk like some drunkard... and hard to concentrate on my dissertation. its annoying when u have to blow ur nose every 5 minutes... yes, my dustbin would be full of tissue containing my mucus. almost lost my voice this morning, but manage to get something out, but after awhile, my voice change into a manlier voice... according to hui yann. body temperature gone haywired cause it would be hot then suddenly change cold so can't really tell what im feeling. if your reading this Karen, don't tell mom or dad :P otherwise they are gonna worry... so yea, im fine (sort of). anyways, today, it snowed for 5 sec. dangnabit, why must i be sick when the snow is coming??!! i won't be able to play with the snow (T^T)
well, it was really funny getting there. we used an underground train tube to arrive at the right street. once we are out, we tried finding our way with the map around the street. we were confident~ adventurous~ but.... we went the wrong way!!! Jon opened the map with out friend, i just looked at it but usually i just leave it to them (shouldn't do that...) we weren't sure where we are that time, so i just asked an old lady and she was also the one who approached us and all asking are we alright. so I asked her where is the London Dungeon and she gave me a OMG look. like OH NO NOT ANOTHER ONE kinda look. but she still guide us the way (she walk with us, such a nice old lady, i should quit making jokes about old ladies) so while we were walking, i find it awkward that its gonna be a quiet walk towards there so i just started a conversation with her. she asked me why do I wanna go to the London Dungeon. Apparently my inner feelings was like ITS GONNA BE AWESOME, IM EXCITED TO SEE WHAT HORRORS AWAITS AND WHAT KIND OF HORROR STORIES WILL THERE BE!!!
but instead, i answered her : " oh, i just thought it might interest me~ ( i lied... but hey, dun wanna scare an old lady who is guiding us the way) she then told me she was from the association who is against all tortures and the london dungeon was a place where tortures took place last time. so first thing in my head was OH CRAP! yea, she then start telling me her fascination towards man who are interested in this kind of entertainment although we know its bad. she didn't exactly guide us all the way but she did help us alot. she told us the direction on where to go and such and she told me to "look after the boys" i was like D: shouldn't they be looking after me??? i considered it as a joke. so we move on.
we arrived the right street now but we couldn't find the entrance so we asked those people who were handing out fliers about the london bridge experience ( i know i kept changing london dungeon into london bridge experience[LBE] but the LBE is the place where we are going, London Dungeon is another place.) we asked him and he gave us a discount (WOOHOO!) and i was the only one jumping with joy cause i really want to go in there. he guide us the way and he told me this, " Take care of the guys"
i was like (O____O) what?? again??? it was funny so we didn't really bother about it, we just moved on.
bought the tickets with the discount, went to pee (to prevent ourselves from pissing our own trousers) and we went in. there was a man who gave an introduction of this whole journey that we were about to take. he talk and talk and then he said, you need to have a leader. someone... BRAVE...someone...STRONG... COURAGEOUS... *points finger at me* YOU THERE YOUNG LADY! STEP RIGHT UP! YOU WILL BE THE LEADER!
i was like (O___O) AGAIN????? it was really funny, the three of us just broke down and laugh. we went in and it really make my heart nervous. one guy suddenly jump in front of me but he wasn't a monster or such (thank God...) telling us the story of the vikings. and moving on to another room. when we open the room, the first thing i saw was a woman sitting on the floor with crossed feet. first thing that comes in me and Jon's head was OMG A WITCH!!! so we didn't dare go near her..... LOOOL. she asked for a lift, i wasn't kind enough so i push Jon to picked her up. XD apparently she wasn't a witch... she was just a normal citizen. telling us the story of the fire of london, she then asked whats fire in our language, so we said API. and she pronounce it as A PEE!! Lool. so we actually had to run to some place cause of the "A PEE" and we were warned about further ahead is the TRUE HORROR. we were a little hesitant cause what we are about to enter is the UK'S BEST SCARE ATTRACTION which won 3 AWARDS for 3 YEARS!!
but instead, i answered her : " oh, i just thought it might interest me~ ( i lied... but hey, dun wanna scare an old lady who is guiding us the way) she then told me she was from the association who is against all tortures and the london dungeon was a place where tortures took place last time. so first thing in my head was OH CRAP! yea, she then start telling me her fascination towards man who are interested in this kind of entertainment although we know its bad. she didn't exactly guide us all the way but she did help us alot. she told us the direction on where to go and such and she told me to "look after the boys" i was like D: shouldn't they be looking after me??? i considered it as a joke. so we move on.
we arrived the right street now but we couldn't find the entrance so we asked those people who were handing out fliers about the london bridge experience ( i know i kept changing london dungeon into london bridge experience[LBE] but the LBE is the place where we are going, London Dungeon is another place.) we asked him and he gave us a discount (WOOHOO!) and i was the only one jumping with joy cause i really want to go in there. he guide us the way and he told me this, " Take care of the guys"
i was like (O____O) what?? again??? it was funny so we didn't really bother about it, we just moved on.
bought the tickets with the discount, went to pee (to prevent ourselves from pissing our own trousers) and we went in. there was a man who gave an introduction of this whole journey that we were about to take. he talk and talk and then he said, you need to have a leader. someone... BRAVE...someone...STRONG... COURAGEOUS... *points finger at me* YOU THERE YOUNG LADY! STEP RIGHT UP! YOU WILL BE THE LEADER!
i was like (O___O) AGAIN????? it was really funny, the three of us just broke down and laugh. we went in and it really make my heart nervous. one guy suddenly jump in front of me but he wasn't a monster or such (thank God...) telling us the story of the vikings. and moving on to another room. when we open the room, the first thing i saw was a woman sitting on the floor with crossed feet. first thing that comes in me and Jon's head was OMG A WITCH!!! so we didn't dare go near her..... LOOOL. she asked for a lift, i wasn't kind enough so i push Jon to picked her up. XD apparently she wasn't a witch... she was just a normal citizen. telling us the story of the fire of london, she then asked whats fire in our language, so we said API. and she pronounce it as A PEE!! Lool. so we actually had to run to some place cause of the "A PEE" and we were warned about further ahead is the TRUE HORROR. we were a little hesitant cause what we are about to enter is the UK'S BEST SCARE ATTRACTION which won 3 AWARDS for 3 YEARS!!
but we went on anyways, it was really scary as we saw some dummies that quite look lifelike. i was suppose to be infront but i ended up behind Jon so he ended up leading. our friend was behind me and we had to walking single file line and our hands on the shoulder of the person in front of you. so we move on. it was scary but me and Jon hold in our screams. apparently our friend was on a screamathon... he kept screaming for any thing that pops up. and he jolted alot... so the actors in the horror house ended up targeting him cause both of us weren;t screaming at all. it was scary but we had to endure it otherwise they are gonna keep scaring us. kinda easy to figure our their tactics. oh god, so many things to talk about but its best that you experience it yourself. well, if you daring to~
A little heads up on what is IN there~
you can check out the link if you want~ http://www.thelondonbridgeexperience.com/
Nothing I say comes out right
I can’t love without a fight
No one ever knows my name
When I pray for sun, it rains
I’m so sick of wasting time
But nothing’s moving in my mind
Inspiration can’t be found
I get up and fall but
I’m ALIVE!, I’m ALIVE! oh yeah
Between the good and bad’s
You’ll find me
Reaching for heaven
I will fight
And I’ll sleep when I die
I’ll live my life I’m ALIVE!
Every lover breaks my heart
And I know it from the start
Still I end up in a mess
Every time I second guess
All my friends just run away
When I’m having a bad day
I would rather stay in bed but I know there’s a reason
I’m ALIVE!, I’m ALIVE! oh yeah
Between the good and bad’s
You’ll find me
Reaching for heaven
I will fight
And I’ll sleep when I die
I’ll live my life I’m ALIVE!
When I’m bored to death at home
When he won’t pick up the phone
When I’m stuck in second place
Those regrets I can’t erase
Only I can change the end
Of the movie in my head
There’s no time for misery
I won’t feel sorry for me
I’m ALIVE!, I’m ALIVE! oh yeah
Between the good and bad’s
You’ll find me
Reaching for heaven
I will fight
And I’ll sleep when I die
I’ll live my life I’m ALIVE!
My Bosom friend,
you work hard,
you did your best.
Give yourself a pat
and give your mind a rest.
Never condemn yourself,
nor blame your birth
your already perfect
so don't object.
burning the midnight's oil,
it makes your blood boil.
drinking nothing but coffee
your a tough cookie.
what keeps you going is not the coffee,
its your determination to cast your nets widely.
hardworking and talented
you hold all the aces.
Don't compare yourself to others,
what you have is worth a million dollars.
Enjoy the process
and you'll progress.
a stepping stone
a bird has flown
that bird is you.
so.....
My Bosom friend,
you may be small and petite
but to me your short and sweet.
( my rhyming maybe abit off... well, its cause its like 2am here so im probably writing to you in a half sleep state (><) anyways, whenever ur down in the dumps, read this! GET YOUR SPIRIT UP! hope this cheers you up midget! )
Still in my room, doing my dissertation while listening to all Tim Burton's movies soundtrack and im doing a dissertation about him and Hayao Miyazaki. I rather be doing the project because my heart and hands seems to want to draw than typing the work.. but anyways, the lecturers here really open my eyes to see how far away I am. well, not to say VERY far away but its like wake up, its different here! the competition here is really high and i can see alot of people were hardworking... this really motivates me to work hard.
I was told that i have a good illustration skill but it still lack professionalism.. well, shock but its like Whoah, if he told me that, i've got to work hard. well, yea, hearing that comment kinda puts me down but at the same time it gives me alot of things to learn. I'm not taking it in a bad way but at least it gives me something to improve cause so far i have not receive any different comments besides being detailed, etc, all the comments that i know about..Being away from home, well, one thing for sure that i miss was my friend's dog that we constantly kidnapped >< but yea, of course, i miss the friends and my family in Malaysia but at the same time having fun in the UK. but won't be going back for Christmas, I want to but whats the point cause im going to be here for only a year. so might as well make the most of it.
OH! I BOUGHT AN XBOX! MUA HAHAHAHA!! IM SO HAPPY!!!!! *rolls on the floor with blood gushing out from my mouth* Xbox marathon during christmas!!! MUAHAHAHAH!! (but of course i will go out!)
played a game called Resident evil 5 with Jon, we were laughing, yelling at each other. but yea, we only play during the weekends. and work hard in the weekdays. i miss playing latest games on consoles. omg.... it was so torturing to see new games coming out and i couldn't play it last time cause i didn't have the latest playstation! but now!! mua hahahahah!!! not that i didn't like my playstation 2 or wii but its the people who makes the games have already stop making em.. so yea, blame em :P
played a game called Resident evil 5 with Jon, we were laughing, yelling at each other. but yea, we only play during the weekends. and work hard in the weekdays. i miss playing latest games on consoles. omg.... it was so torturing to see new games coming out and i couldn't play it last time cause i didn't have the latest playstation! but now!! mua hahahahah!!! not that i didn't like my playstation 2 or wii but its the people who makes the games have already stop making em.. so yea, blame em :P
Currently, im getting sick of my hairstyle. I use to be very experimental with my hair by getting different haircuts all the time during my foundation time but then slowly i didn't get to experiment with it cause as the I was overflowed with projects that came in like a big tsunami just hit, experimenting hairstyles was the last thing on my mind.... but when im free (or procrastinating at the moment or looking in the mirror) i realize i have been sticking to the same hairstyle for quite some time and want to have some changes to it. well, the blue hair colour changes it but still the pattern of my hair or maybe the splitting is getting a little boring for me. If i could i would definitely want to get these kind of hairstyles!
I love the long hair with blue. so i just need to grow my hair and pull everything back huh? well, easier said than done. my hair grows back slowly if i want it long again...
Besides that hairstyle, im crazy over Pink's hairstyle as well! well, one of em actually, not all of them :P
I WANT THIS HAIRSTYLE!! but i don't know whether it would suit me (T-T)
oh well, i would definitely try it one day!
oh well, i would definitely try it one day!
just got to find the right timing :P
Time really goes by so fast when your having a fun time in your own homeland. Seriously, in a blink of an eye(yes, a common phrase..) its the day! well, tomorrow is the day where I'm going to UK to continue my studies. but of course, my family is coming along (yay!) that way, i could spend more time with them and help me out with settling down in my own place. well, I am excited about this, staying in another country and living on your own but at the same time u start to feel that you'll miss the people that you won't be seeing for awhile. we have to move on and make new friends but of course don't forget the old ones cause they worth more than gold. Peeps! whoever is reading this at all... I'll miss you all!
I have participate this project and I am excited to finish it! I'm also excited on what stories will pop in my head and how the images would form in the book! Though I'm not a professional illustrator, I am having fun doing this :) Glad that Ms Yee Von told me about this project! Well, you could say this really pushes u to keep practicing your drawing skills and think of a new idea every day. Through this project, you could say you have free publicity to alot of places... well sort of. you just have to pay the entry fee and the sketchbook price. So far i have done 3 stories.. hm.. alot more to go! Go me! :D I hope that when people see my sketchbook they would be thrilled and excited to read my stories :)
Basically, I just want people to have fun reading my stories :P thought its more like a short story.
sometimes when people throw loads of information at me it just cause me headaches sometimes cause i have to remember it all clearly... then if u explain it to your parents why is it like this, they would give u a face and start raising loads of question... then u have to call the them again... blah blah... explain... repeat.... ugh... so tired... please come fast u damn transcript!!! i want to finish making my visa before i could not go at all!!! (T_T) i think by the time the VISA comes out, i would probably left 1 week of getting together with friends and preparations for uk.... yes... more rush.... ugh....RRRRAAWWWRR!!
well, today (still in the office) i came here early than the others as usual.. except for one person... she's always early... so i decide to check my results online and i was sort of scared all the time when i want to check whether my result is posted up... so i was kind of expecting a dramatic drop in my grade but turns out pretty ok. i drop a little bit so im fine with it.. i still got a B so im quite pleased with it. yay! go me! :P
so yea, wanted to post this happy feeling im having now. XD
(more like procrastinating!!)
ok, im in the office... better write this quick.. lol, ok the way i said it, it sound like someone is gonna come and kill me or something and im like writing clues to give you a head start or some weird suicide note thing.... anyways, alone in the office, everyone went out for lunch so i thought i could watch a few clips of some scary game that i intended to buy and play it with my sisters, one's a creature of the light known as lightbringer, and the other is a craaazzyyy hippie. so anyways, i found this game call Ju-on the grudge wii game at 1 mont kiara and i know how those two like a good scare sometimes so i thought : hey why not i get this game for them? so i ordered the game but it never came back to me after that.. thank god i didn't pay for it first.. screw the shit out of em... forgive my language. but thanks to a friend of mine, i ask him to get it for me (of course i'll pay you back in case you are reading this to the one who is concern...)
so before i get the game and start playing it, i thought i could like check on it. and here i am! in the office! ALONE. so i watch the video and apparently its quite scary and creepy but i still want to play it. the scary part is that... after watching a few clips of it and some walkthroughs in youtube, the office seems a little creepy now... cause there is sudden flickering of the light.... and ... funny sounds which i have no idea where it come from... ok, i attract weird things.... thats not good... lol. its alright.. im cool.. everything is gonna be fine... everything is gonna be alri- ZOMGS! WHEN ARE THE OTHERS COMING BACK!!! loooool....
ok, seriously, my reaction is not like that. XD
alright folks! I'm back! with a cold and a bloody headache! but it was worth it cause I had such an awesome time at the church youth camp! It was great that I had alot of fun than expected :D and it was more fun when my high school friends came along with me. Meet new friends and get to know better some old ones. have a little fun game of Angel and Mortal. ah, yes, the wonderful/fun game of angel and mortal~~
apparently we are suppose to draw a name for the angel and mortal game. which i did not draw for the first day... bad me... but i did on the 2nd day so its ok :P ok, the whole point of this is that your the angel (practically everyone is) and the name you draw will be your mortal. And as an angel, you are to bless your mortal with gifts, introduce him/her to new friends, send him/her some motivation notes or do something good for your mortal. BUT!!!!! you must do it discreetly! do not let ur mortal know who is her/his angel~~~i thought it was a drag at first but i realize it was actually a fun game. I like my angel alot(though i have no idea who that person was), my angel is very active and keep on giving me nice things such as small tidbits, and the other two time was that she ask someone to pass me the food she wants to give me during lunch or breakfast. it was sweet~~ as for me (yes, I am an angel too and i bet most of you out there who know me reading this are either laughing or in shock now) i had a hard time finding my mortal..... so i was thinking this must be how the real angel works... finding ur own mortal can be hard as there is a lot of people crowding over... ok, my gift to my mortal was my very own drawing and a motivation note (some of my friends were wondering I could give em my drawing so if they like it, i guess my mortal would like it) i was scurrying around looking for my mortal, looking at name tags and group (i guess i creep some people out with this method of searching... AHAHAHAH) and then!!! I FOUND MY MORTAL!!!! a 13 year old girl~~ :D she looks sweet~~ so i ask one my friends to be my delivery person and it was cute to see my mortal looking around for her angel... huhuhuhu~~~ i bet she would never expect it from me as i dress all dark looking and the drawing is an angel on a tree with halo and a note there~~ i wonder if i shock my angel as I am her mortal.... ok, that was just a side game during camp.
ok, first day, arrive at the resort, me and my friends were excited as we have the room to ourself so we can go crazy and all. as we reached our room, the door was open and .... everything was in a mess.... me and my friends were in doubt thinking that this was our room... we checked and its hard to face the truth sometimes.... but no matter, my friend call house keeping and she made it clean again~ yay~~ then we went down to have some games and all. it was fun playing some blind man game cause we were shouting out lungs out to our blind team mates(they are blind folded) and it was funny that sometimes they misheard u and went the other way XD there is also flying fox but i didn't wanna go again as i had a painful experience when it comes to letting you go to the ground... you could say the rope was pulling me up... the dudes were pulling me down... so yea... i had to feel a little pain below there.... ANYWAYS, then we had to divide in groups and talk about tomorrow's performance night, which are the theme song and the skit.
i couldn't do the theme song so i join skit team ( i can be really dramatic so this would suit me better) the director was my church friend who likes to draw as well but she couldn't handle most of the team members ( i dunno why...) so sometimes, this is where age comes in... MUA HAHAHA!! yes.. me and my friends were the oldest there.... so i ended up taking the director role although i already told her i will guide her since the role of the director was given to her by our pastor.... but she insist that i became the director and she was sort of in a panic mode as well... so yea, it was fun directing them and most of em told me that i look very young ( oh ho ho ho ho) and they can't believe im 20 years old :P the way i act and all.... ehee hee hee...
will upload the video here if i know how...
the 2nd day~~~ had nice breakfast, went for sermon as well, after that lunch, THEN! it was the amazing race game~~ it was fun as we had to go through game/obstacles together as a team. the most funniest game i find it fun was to turn over the cloth that was on the ground BUT! everyone... and i mean EVERYONE in the team must be on top of the cloth while turning over the cloth. me and another guy were at the end of the cloth so we had to turn it over first and well... get ready for more people to come over to our side... and we had to support them one by one.... the bigger ones were all in the middle and it was difficult to support em all when they come to our side.. i was already supporting 4 girls to make sure THEY don't fall out of the cloth otherwise we have to start over... and omg... it was hard.. i must have build up a muscle for that!! and no one was supporting me i had to rely on my legs to keep myself from stepping out but thank god the other dude was in the same scenario as me so he support me by putting his arm around shoulder and push the other people forward... it was hot as well cause i could feel his and the other girls body heat... it was so hot.. everyone was sweating... and most of the other games in the amazing race ...well....we cheat most of it. MUA HAHAHA. after the amazing race game, we had to practice the skit, they are good kids as they know how to cooperate and are willing to listen to my direction. and it was fun having laughs and all. as for the skit, we have to act according to the song like a mime, most of the songs that were given to our team and other team the guy gets the girl. night came, and we ROCK! LOL. everyone skit was either the guy manage to get the girl or not. as for mine~~~~ the guy didn't go the pretty girl but the other girl's best friend who looks like a nerd~~~~ MUA HAHAHAHAHA!! everyone was so shock and they could not stop laughing!!! yea, although we didn't win but everyone remembered ours so its good enough.
well, i could go on and on talking about camp, jokes and stuff but i should stop here cause I'm having a really nasty flu. btw, i think its my fault that some of the people in camp got sick because of me. we had a game of popping other team's balloon while keeping your balloon up in the air... so i had a flu and my friend just pass me a balloon to blow... and i did... so i gave it to my friend, she tied it up... then i told her,
" don't let anyone pop this balloon... it;s fill with my germs." LOL
so i guess someone pop that particular balloon and it spread to some people already cause on the 3rd day, some was already sniffling and blowing out mucus :P
anyways, will upload a pic next time on the next post with more talking on the Church Youth Camp.
Receive from a call from a designer that I got the job, although i kinda had it figure it out that I would be hired :P (I don't think it good idea to think like that sometimes cause who knows they might reject you) anyways, quite relieve as well that he called me and say he would take me in(ok, that sound like im homeless...) so im quite excited to start. Oh, i decided to start after my church camp :P since i won't be doing anything for quite a while, might as well start working. I'm excited yet nervous cause I would be working in the office (@ @) not to mention im working at the same place as my eldest sister. but she;s in the marketing department and well, different building (i think) so don't be surprise that you might now be able to reach/call me.... cause i might chuck out my handphone out of the window due to my sister's never ending phone call. LOL.
well, its not bad as well that im working at the same place as my sister (so that she could pay for my meals. MUA HAHAHA)hmm.. it is interesting to find out about people's characteristic when they work, like either they are annoying, backstabbing or nice.
the designer who I am going to teach and learn from is not bad looking so yea~~~ oh ho ho ho ho~~~~ just the cigarette smell that just kinda ruin his image.... (=.=)
1. Get piercings - (im scared but I want those accessories!)
2. Paint 2 Canvas ( hey, i like painting but the cost of canvas now is bloody hell expensive)
[1 more to go]
3. Make 4 dolls - THE REBORN OF MR PENGUIN! why four? i have no idea myself. but c'mon, long holiday, make more dolls!
4. attend church camp - yea yea~~ fun time with mah friends! but of course i'll listen to the talk *cough*
5. Hang out with high school friends - missing em already, me old buddies~~
6. Torture midget - i dunno, i just felt like putting that in and hey, its a tough job *wink*
7. make an animation movie - wanted to make a stop motion movie >< but i need to practice on my crafting skill
8. make a clay character
9. watch alot of anime
10. have a badminton game with friends
11. kidnap friend's dog
12. Go back Sabah
13. complete a journal (hey, can't be lazy now! )
14. write a story (get my creative juice flowing)
15. draw a storybook (always wanted to draw out the stories that me and my sisters thought of)
16. draw a parody of silent hill characters :P
17. use illustrator to do an illustration (at the same time i'm practicing using illustrator)
18. have lunch with the lecturers ( with them not eating them and hey, they are fun people :D )
19. Take lots of pictures
20. Take lots of videos
21. Update my deviantart account with my drawings
22. get an intern job щ(ﾟДﾟщ) WHYYY!!! :P
hmm... so far thats all i can think of... if i have anymore things i want to do, i shall add em to the list! XD
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I'm not really a pure genuine Goth cause I still dress in different colour and not all the time i wear black( ok, SOMETIMES i don't wear black). I don't put white foundation on my skin to make myself look pale (but will try one day), I don't put on heavy eyeshadow make up (but im learning~ but i won't wear em all the time as it could damage my skin), wearing black nail polish is no big deal cause anyone can wear em.. as for my bling blings~ well, you could say... not enough bling :P LOL. And I don't have heavy dressing (although it looks like fun dressing like em) I listen to rock and metal but not as hardcore as em.. i still like listening to instrumental music... I won't abandon my religion just to be a goth as well...so im like..semi-goth. LOL. a goth halfling you might say. 
I'm not trying to be a pure genuine goth but you could say it is fun dressing up like one. you could see how people react to you when they see you all black with funny hair colour and lots of scary bling on you. kids would go, MOMMY MOMMY! OMG~! THAT GIRL IS SO SCARY! I THINK SHE EAT KIDS FOR BREAKFAST!! (im just exaggerating on the whole eating part)
I don't wear black lipstick cause i dun like em.. well, i think they are nice but i ain't going to try em.. looks funny when i imagine myself with dark lipstick..
well, like most of the adults and lecturers i met, they say its a phase. its annoying at first cause they would go like, oh~ i was like that once too~ when i was your age~ blah blah *I turn to bones and spiders will start spinning their cobwebs around me*
well, i won't argue with em. they could be right though that it could be a phase or it could be just what i like to dress. not being a dark person but just dressing for fun. i dun mind changing myself to another thing.
who knows, i could be a hippy in the future, smoking marijuana and going high. lol. im just kidding btw..
Can I just let it all out? Can I just scream? its bottled up inside me. But I'm too afraid to let it all out and lose it all. all this anger, sadness, loss and frustration. it just makes me more agitated. I blame it on the side effects of the PMS-ing but that just seems partial of it.
tears build up and flows down, my head is now just full of thoughts, it gives me a bloody headache all the time. Im afraid of letting myself out and throw it on those who did nothing to me. I didn't mean to get angry at you or throw it on you. something just bothers me and I really wish i could just say it but I can't, I won't and I never will.
I won't go further into details because I don't want to reveal everything. lets just leave it that way. Saying some stuff here just to let me calm down.
Everyone wants someone to listen to themto be there for themdidn't need to ask them to be therecause they know they will be thereautomatically, they will come to youthey wouldn't wait for u to askcause they care and know u need them.they wouldn't leave even though u brush em offthey would stay and listenwipe your tears that you shed.if it wasn't good enoughthey would cry along with youfeel all the heart aches you bear
sometimes friends put up wallsnot to shut you out or push you awaybut waitingfor you to break it down and comeif you listen, not just to preachers, teachers or seniorsyou'll learned a great deal of that someone.
truly, good friends are difficult to leave and hard to find and impossible to forgetthats what I love about good friends, best friends and close friendsa title thats worth more than gold true friendship doesn't always mean being there when your convenient,they will be there when ur notand when silence between friends is comfortable.but most of all, they listen.
After a tedious week of projects, I have an urge to play games and so happen to be the hidden object games. browsing through the internet and came across a game called Dying For Daylight. tried the trial version and it got me hooked. buts its trial so i only can play 1 hr!!!!
after the 1hr period is up, i got obsesses into trying to find that game!!!! oh god, the humanity!
anyway, thanks to my uncle who told me about a certain website where i can download games, i was on cloud nine!
apparently, i played the game too fast so i ended up finishing it in 1 day... not good... so i browse through again looking for more hidden objects game and found stray of souls. it was creepy but i kinda like the story plot and the creativity of the dollhouse :) i recommend anyone to go download and play it cause its seriously fun.
the homepage of the game. kinda cool cause it gives off an eerie feeling with its music :)
I got spooked at the doll at first cause its all voodoo-ish and it smiles..but after a while, i find it kinda cute :D
im kinda piss off what is going to happen to the cute voodoo doll :(
Dying For Daylight homepage :)
LOOK AT THE CUTE LITTLE DOGGIE!!!!
Dahlia.
Love her sarcasm :D
well, its a learning process to learn to accept opinions. im usually quite stubborn on this but hey, im learning.
as i look back, i thought of many things i have done, although i didn't win anything but i was actually impressed like : hey, you know what? i actually join something. i actually did something without saying oh its a waste of time, i can't do it, blah blah blah..... negative comments... ( I dun usually say these cause its really bad for you) you could say, im proud of myself, i did something, yep, i didn't win but hey, i learn something and im actually quite satisfied :) i have no regrets and its actually a good feeling but that does not mean that u have to keep failing!! lol, u have to strive to do ur best. but try not to kill urself!!
Experience : that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.
quote by C.S Lewis
(the quote was funny and true)
I like how we meet each other in the mall especially for Angela cause she was standing right in the middle of the GSC cinema floor. and she stands out with her height and she seriously look like a model to me and she looks so adorable with her happy look. she is SO tall. envy her height~~~ I told Jean that I'm going to introduce her to a new friend. and she calls her "fresh meat" . when Jean met Angela, she was SPEECHLESS! LOL. she did not expect Angela to be tall and she was well... stoned! LOL.
then Jeannie arrive with her cute smile~ XD ( am i making u shy Jeannie? Am I? Am I? >:D)
bought the movie ticket for Shaolin and its time for lunch before movie. ate at Gardens Food Court and Farnaz was there with her parents. lol, small world eh? come to think of it. it was the first time for me to see her in a dress. anyway, during lunch we were talking about past times and funny moments we had in our lives. really miss face to face conversation with friends where we can really laugh instead of just typing "LOL" . ohh!! bought a book by Karen Maitland "The Owl Killers" yay. i plan to buy it for her but i dun think she would want to keep it.. i think i shall keep it and say its mine... she have too many books anyways XD
The movie Shaolin was really really good. really enjoyed the movie. but JEAN always wreck the cool part... its like there was an awesome part going on then Jean would ruin it by saying FAKE!! i control myself from hitting her...after the movie, we basically just chat while walking around. of course we aren't going to stay there long so we decide its time to go back. Angela send me back home so we had chat more in the car. was fun talking to her and hope for another outing like that. didn't do much but we had fun :D
P.S : I am sort of tired and blur writing this cause I just got back from that outing... yea.. LOL XD
Going all giddy watching horror stuff. searching for more. apparently, its also cause im running low on horror juice all of a sudden. can't think normal ( well, i was never thinking normal at the first place) basically, looking around for inspiration. kind of facing an artist block. not a writer's block cause im not really much of a writer. i do write stories but according to some friends of mine, its more funny than scary. more like NOT SCARY AT ALL!! i really love reading horror books, tragic mythology and gore movies ( well, not much gore cause its just ruins the whole mood later) ok, back to the topic. i can't seem to draw what i wanted to draw. my hand does not want to move its like in deep sleep.. or my hands dead... didn't like that feeling cause i love to draw. hmm.. i think i shall distress myself by killing stickman... they are fun to kill :D
This music video moves me to tears. (T T)
Its located at the bottom of this page.
can't use the better quality video...sad...
so this quality will have to do.
if you want to view it in a better quality
go find it in youtube.
i like the singer's hair by the way :D
and she has lovely eyes
and beautiful voice XD
Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated
Look, I'm still around
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than f*ckin' perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You're f*ckin' perfect to me!
You're so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were wrong
Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred...such a tired game
It's enough! I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same
Oh, pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than f*ckin' perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You're f*ckin' perfect to me
The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in line, and we try try try, but we try too hard and it's a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere
They dont like my jeans, they don't get my hair
Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time
Why do we do that? Why do I do that?
Why do I do that..?
Yeah, oh, oh baby, pretty baby..!
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than f*ckin' perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me
You're perfect, you're perfect!
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You're fuckin' perfect to me...
another event that is coming up is the Pipit market. i was rather happy that it comes early this year otherwise i would be devastated that it come during october onwards cause i won't be here by then and i won't get a chance to sell my stuff. so yea. another self discovery.
im going to try to do my best in these events and most of all, have fun~!
P.S : im suppose to finish some damn assignment but im here procrastinating ~! MUA HAHAHAHAH!! :D
